Patience

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Patience is learned and defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset according to google. It isn’t something your born with. You learn to cry when you want something as a baby. You learn it helps you get what you want/need.

As you get older your taught that crying is a sign of weakness and then your faced with learning to cope with the adjustment which equals patience or lack of.

Then as you become an adult, you learn crying simply gets you no where and you learn who your true friends are when your life has turned upside down and inside out and no one knows what you’re talking about. You try to explain what your feeling and they don’t understand. They aren’t supposed to it isn’t their journey. Still you tell the story anyways and then your left alone, maybe not in the physical sense, but you sure as fuck feel that way.

Patience is taught in mysterious ways.
For example waiting for your spouse to come to bed as he lie on the couch to watch tv and wonder if he will ever come to hold you, make you feel appreciated and to love you.

Once you finally are courageous enough and tell him your leaving and your not waiting anymore. Is then when your patience runs out.

Patience? That lesson for me had to repeat itself over and over and over and over again for 17 years before I finally learned that lesson.

Now the paperwork and emails from your divorce attorney, nasty texts from him and the mean things he says to me when I see him. I listen to the words that come out of my children’s mouth about what he says about me. Reminds me of my patience over the years of waiting. Waiting for him to love me the way I felt I needed to be loved. Instead I started loving myself. Honoring my mind, my body and my spirit. I now know to be patient with myself, before anyone else and let things be as they are and not as I think they should be. And when my patience runs out I get up and change things as I wish to see them, not wait for the change, I am the change.

I learned to be patient. Have you?

#PauseReflectMoveForward

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